A Song I Like From Sleep Token

I was shown this song by my son. He's into Bring me the horizon etc. I have always liked Linkin Park.

It reminds me of how life changes and show we let others treat us because of it. 

How things stay with us and how hard it is to let things go.

This is the part of the song I like

TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN 

BY SLEEP TOKEN

My, my, those eyes like fire I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre come now, bite through these wires I'm a waking hell and the gods grow tired reset my patient violence along both lines of a pathway higher 

Grow back your sharpest teeth, you know my desire I guess it goes to show, does it not? That we've no idea what we've got until we lose it and no amount of love will keep it around if we don't choose it and I don't know what's got its teeth in me but I'm about to bite back in anger no amount of self-sought fury will bring back the glory of innocence

I feel it's about having love for ourselves and not letting others use and hurt us.

Sara

This time it's all about me!

I went to bed last night sad and woke up this morning pissed off. Why do people think they can pull one over on me? That's why I want to write for TV and film. I wanted to be a police officer here in the UK. I would have liked to work for Major crimes or homicide they call it in the US.

I use these skills to the fullest and can't understand why people get taken for granted due to money? My confession is they are not going to win that way. 

Why do people believe they can get away with things? But with the Internet it has been made very easy to make people believe you're someone you're not.

And that's the question? Why lie? Why not say who you are? It's this fake facade that people build up about their lifestyle, yet I don't understand why people do things because they're not happy?

At 57 years old I'm working but not what I would like to do, which is write for a living. Writing for TV, even maybe books. I wouldn't mind writing a film script but I think I want to write for TV because it's like chapters in a book.

What I don't understand is why? It's been my favorite question since I was a kid. I'm writing from my own pain and trying to believe that I wasn't just put on this earth to be treated badly. 

I'm divorced, I've never been in trouble, did jury service (most of my family have), I like to stay home and can't stand other people's drama. I don't have any friends, only my kids, (my 2 sons and my daughter in law). Go to work and come home. Working for what? My UK government doesn't understand that to make people want to work you need to give them an incentive. A better chance to build wealth. 

But people think some people are lazy and not worth anything because we have health issues that we didn't ask for. I'm sick of the mundane and the way the world is at the moment. Conflict, wars and the way the US is at the moment. 

What happened to truth and honesty? 

It's when people blame where they live, on what is happening in their life? But it's not the town or city's fault, it's people. 

Why do people worry so much about what other people are doing? I guess that's the difference with me? I want to understand why people need to strip down the feelings of others and treat people the way they do? Is it jealousy or just pure and simple hate? 

This is what keeps me up at night? Questions? 

Questions about life and understanding, it doesn't matter what others think. It's about making yourself happy and living the way you want to. If I can pass on any advice, don't let people stop you!

I think that was my problem, I let people tell me I was worth nothing by my family, ex husband and friends over the years. And I believed them? 

It doesn't matter how much money you have or education because I think people can see that at the moment due to someone in the White House. 

Don't let people dull your enthusiasm for life and all it can bring!

I'm doing this so I can move to a bigger home but the way it is set up for a divorced woman is to tell me I need someone to help me pay my bills. I want someone in my life to share things, love, laugh and be my best friend. Not just help financially. That's not a relationship!

It's time for me to stop worrying about what other people think and believe in me.

I worry because my brain doesn't work properly due to my hypothyroidism in concentration, brain fog and exhausted when I get home from work. Now it's time for me to stop worrying and start believing that I am intelligent about different topics because I read and research.

I am trying to build a better chance for me, I almost have my debt paid off for when I retire in 10 years. This time it's all about me!

Sara 

The Pigment Of Prejudice

 The Pigment of Prejudice

We are all different and being all the same would be very boring. But in today's society and standards people like having the same thing as everyone else. This is also true with how people look.

I cannot understand the fascination of us looking the same as someone else? We are unique, one of a kind. 

This is especially true with women and a contributing factor is due to cosmetic treatments like Botox. Because they have the same injections in certain areas of the face.

But it's like these women want to be in a photo shoot. Amazing lighting, airbrushed and their faces stretched and no wrinkles or a pimple in sight. 

If people want to do that, I'm fine with that. What I'm uncomfortable with is that people complain about AI yet want the same thing as editing software but done to their faces in real life. It goes to show that we are controlled by what fashion and beauty have been denying for years. 

That beauty standards are manufactured to sell things. 

I hated the Maybelline advert! 

“Maybe she was born with it, maybe it's Maybelline?”

So you are only beautiful if you wear makeup?

It is a fake facade but in the end makeup helps us with our confidence but aren't we then just covering up something instead of helping ourselves to feel better on the outside?

It's because we associate our ideals with, if we look better, we feel better, we all are the same and we fit in. 

But under this, is something that is staring us in the face. 

Trump's orange face. 

I don't think it's because of tanning beds as you can see the very bad application of foundation and the line where the makeup artist hasn't blended it very well around the sides of his face. But there is something more sinister to see.

Recently Trump made a comment on his truth social about a jeans ad of a white actress and she was Republican. The jeans would sell very well because she is beautiful! And she is but it's the name of the company he likes, American Eagle. 

He is very simple like that. American and the patriotic bird of America.

Now let's look at a company that makes cars and how Trump didn't like the ad. Why do you ask? Because the new CEO is Indian and the old CEO who retired was white. Accept Jaguar is an Indian owned company Tata Motors LTD.

The problem I have is how people think he is not racist yet complains about people who don't have the same skin colour as him. But, the hypocrisy of wearing a foundation that is 4 shades too dark for his skin tone. 

It begs me to ask a question: why does he wear that colour foundation? To cover something up he doesn't want people to see? Maybe because he's getting old and it was announced Trump was not very well. 

But what is the issue? So ok for him to wear that shade of foundation but people who are different he doesn't like. 

Practice what you preach sir! His racism is showing and his ideals of diversity, equality and inclusion are not in line with what many people feel today.

It's even more to understand why he is wearing makeup yet doesn't like people in the LGBTQ++ community that do.

It's not our sexual preferences or our skin colour that makes you different. It's how we think and feel about each other. We need to stop people like him from thinking he's a better person because he's rich and powerful.

We all have power and riches. But we, the people, already know we already are. Because we know the difference.

Sara 

Set Truth To Power

 

Trigger Warning

Please be advised that this blog post contains content discussing sensitive topics such as sexual assault, rape, and other forms of sexual violence.

Reader discretion is advised. If you or someone you know has been affected by these issues, please consider seeking support from a professional or a dedicated organization.

We are in a new world where women are taking their power back from sexual harressment, sexual assault and rape. Which started in the #metoo movement. 

It came from an investigation by the New York Times in 2017 that a wealthy A film producer was alleged of sexual harassment of actresses. He invited actress Ashley Judd to his hotel room and asked for a massage. 

Sound familiar? It didn't stop there. He also said that if she accepted his sexual advances he would help her further her career. It came to light that this was an ongoing occurrence many people speaking up about what happened to them but with Ashley having the courage to be named as a victim in the story helped more victims coming forward.

After a long court case he was charged and sent to prison. But he is due back in court (2025) for a retrial of a 2020 conviction as the jury could not come to a verdict on one of his charges.

Women have had to fight for rights at home and in the work force. Back when the suffragettes fought for the right for women to vote.

Women through the ages have been seen as property but not as an equal in society. But this can also be said about how men and how different genders are now speaking up about these crimes. 

They reason I say this is because a woman was helping a man, sexual assault young teenage girls and getting other teenagers to get more victims for him.

The Epstein Files

Back in 2022 Ghislaine Maxwell was found guilty of sex trafficking and was sentenced to 20 years in prison with her accomplice Jeffery Epstein. He was later found dead in his cell. The conspiracy theories have swelled. But in my opinion I feel he did not want to go to jail for the rest of his life.

Now fast-forward to July 2025 and Trump's election pledge to release the Epstein Files. The DOJ giving a statement saying

Thursday, February 27, 2025

“This Department of Justice is following through on President Trump’s commitment to transparency and lifting the veil on the disgusting actions of Jeffrey Epstein and his co-conspirators,” said Attorney General Pamela Bondi 

Read statement here:

https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/attorney-general-pamela-bondi-releases-first-phase-declassified-epstein-files

Also the FBI Director Kash Patel

Quote

“The FBI is entering a new era—one that will be defined by integrity, accountability, and the unwavering pursuit of justice,” 

“There will be no cover-ups, no missing documents, and no stone left unturned — and anyone from the prior or current Bureau who undermines this will be swiftly pursued. If there are gaps, we will find them. If records have been hidden, we will uncover them. And we will bring everything we find to the DOJ to be fully assessed and transparently disseminated to the American people as it should be. The oath we take is to the Constitution, and under my leadership, that promise will be upheld without compromise.”

said FBI Director Kash Patel. 

Then the DOJ AG and FBI Director's claim that no further investigation is needed and nothing else would be released?

I am sure that both Bondi and Patel would have to agree on the statement to be released.

This of course started due to AG Bondi saying it was on her desk for review? People thought the client list, what she should have said was that the Epstein file was on her desk when she gave an interview on Fox News.

But thinking about it? This also could help the onslaught of more complex conspiracy theories for the rumor mill and Trump supporters.

Except it didn't go to plan and Trump's election promise was not being met by releasing the Epstein Files. Trump supporters themselves were now growing concerned about the release of the files.

Let's take a step Back In Time

In February of 2024 Governor Ron Destanis signed a bill to release the Grand jury testimony from the 2006 Epstein case. 

In the grand jury case files it states that Epstein sexually assaulted teenage girls and made a plea deal with South Florida federal prosecutors allowing him to escape from more severe charges and prison time. 

It was when victims became aware that they had not been notified of the plea deal or allowed to give victim impact statements to the court.

I then remembered about the FBI raid on Epstein's New York home in 2019 and many hard drives were found including phones, laptops, CD's, etc.

I remember watching the documentary of Jeffery Epstein on Netflix UK. I seem to remember one of the victims, saying that Jeffery video taped people coming in and out of the residence including knowing where the young women were at all times.

I did find the July 2025 FBI memo stating that a mountain of evidence was collected during the raid. This includes hard drives, videos and images of the victims.

In the memo it states no client list! But if law enforcement and the FBI reviewed all the videos on the hard drives, a list could be made if it showed any evidence of sexual crime. What if Epstein had concealed video equipment in the rooms, as plastic boxes for hard drives were found at his New York home but this information was never released.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/crime/jeffrey-epstein-ghislaine-maxwell-new-york-fbi-b1971344.html

Then a news report in July 2025 was released that AG Bondi told President Trump he was in the Epstein Files back in May. 

For victims of sexual crimes to come forward, more needs to be done for safety and trained police officers to help victims and to be believed. For a country wide database for law enforcement and federal law enforcement to use in these types of cases. But it takes time to test these rapes kits. Which doesn't give the victims any hope of catching the person who did this to them. I also have to speak for men as this could stop any falsely reported cases.

But moreover the people who committed these crimes need to be held accountable for their actions and prosecuted for longer sentences as the victims of these crimes have everlasting severe mental health problems because of what happened to them. We know this, as one of Epstein's victims died from suicide in April. Her name was Virginia Giuffre and spoke out about the wealthy and high powered people who took advantage of her. It really does say about the quote “set truth to power”.

 

So Yesterday Wasn't A Good Day!

I wasn't feeling all that great due to health problems. I was trying to write but decided to lay down and take a nap. I'm waiting for my operation and my osteoarthritis was playing up. I twisted my ankle just by stepping back.

Then noise! So I said something to the people who were making it. Got told nobody liked me and get my teeth fixed.

I would if I could afford it as I'm working but still have to pay around £500 which is a lot of money.

I don't have credit cards, covid put that to an end.  This why why doing this! To do something I love doing and make a living!

It's this idea that everyone can afford the same thing as everyone else can.

But I take it, do you know why?

Because sometimes that's what happens! Life is not set in a way that everything is your way. But people nowadays get everything at the push of a button.

Being yelled at is nothing I wanted to be a cop here in the UK. But now I think everything has a purpose. I read too many Nancy Drew books as a kid.

I think everything was pushing me to be a writer! I have always liked reading and writing, ever since I was a teenager. Writing stories, playing with my stationery and creating things that have a meaning.

People will say things about you but you know the truth. 

Look at the fact that many copy other people's writing. Many books and scripts are the same arc but different. Changed to suit the never ending trend. Why? Because people want to make money, not create something that is their vision.

Being a writer is about being authentic. I like peace and tranquility. I have had a lot of drama in my life. I didn’t like it. So I decided to write about using my own thoughts and feelings.

Change is good, the truth shall set you free. Why? 

Because my writing is about my endless journey of self discovery and using it as a journal to understand why we think the way we do and the emotional minefield of our lives.

We are not the same as everyone, some are looking for more. 

The Understanding Of What Life Is Like Being A Writer? 

It's about showing others that it's ok! You're not the only ones who have gone through bad times.

It's about explaining to everyone, things will get better but sometimes change has to happen and sometimes you have to stand your ground and say something.

That's who I am!

No matter what people say about me and want to believe gossip. That's fine, I have the receipts. I check my facts and research them. 

You have to, as a writer!

Sara

Trump's Name Was Redacted

I have been interested for a while about Trump and his affairs as I am writing a political drama.

Bloomberg said it was from a black book but the picture shown is a contact  list.

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/newsletters/2025-08-01/epstein-files-trump-s-name-was-redacted-by-the-fbi

You can see it here Trump on flight logs:

By law passengers have to be added to the manifest even on private  planes.

Read the documents for yourself here:

https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/attorney-general-pamela-bondi-releases-first-phase-declassified-epstein-files

The Age Of The Times and Technology

Many many years ago you could get away with a lot. Crime was at a peak in England during the Victorian era due to the fact of wealth. The great division of people, rich and poor. But many were stealing to feed themselves or keep a roof over their heads and the basic necessities.

Still doesn't give people the right to take things that are not theirs.

But today society isn't that forgiving, but what is the issue?

Now it's technology and the use of it. It's what people do and use it to call people out on it. 

Recently a man was caught at a concert with his arms around another woman, not his wife! What many are saying that, if they just acted differently it wouldn't have mattered? The irony of the statement in itself is that people think they know how other people react to things.

What I can't get my head around is everyone is in this joyous understanding of someone being taken down as they are rich and it's about privilege.

But these people forgot about one thing. While all these people are celebrating the facts of a man and woman getting found out for cheating.

But you are also celebrating the fact a woman has just found out she has been cheated on. The fact that I can talk from experience.

Finding out you are not their person anymore is heartbreaking, soul crushing. It's like someone got your heart that is made from glass and shattered it. 

The only problem is you can't find the pieces to put it back together. It's not like the pieces are in one room but all over the world and not able to find them. It can take several months or years to make it whole again. Sometimes never!

Then some people are scared to try to have another relationship because of someone hurting them all over again!

Hear On Evil, Speak No Evil, See No Evil.

The problem I have as a Writer, I watch, I listen, and learn from the things you say, the way you speak and act.

It's like that show called Lie To Me, a show about how to use applied psychology on how people use micro expressions to detect if they're lying.

But this wasn't about an affair, it's about getting caught!

 

So yes, celebrate the things of people doing bad things. So does this mean we can celebrate the bad things you do or your family.

The Double Edged Sword

People use the Internet and social media to be the first to spread gossip and misinformation to get likes and to make money on other people's misery easily and quickly.

This isn’t about people this is about using people for being human and sometimes doing appalling things.

But always remember there is another side to the story. A story of love, loss and deception. A family turned into turmoil because it wasn't just them finding out but the whole world. Then ask yourself what if that was me?

The Start Of Fall

As the leaves change colour and start to cover ground like a blanket. The feeling of cooler and shorter days.

This is the earth telling us it's time to stay indoors and bring changes our lifes. 

Moving the furniture, rearranging your nik naks around your home bringng the outside in. Let the rain come while you are safe and cosy inside.

It's time for baking and homemaking. Fixing things you put off, making crafts and writing new ideas and dreams.

Life is anything but boring! You just have to find the magic.

Open windows when you can, light a candle and make a wish. Ask blessings in all you do. 

Now your place is set, all you have to do is cuddle up and make a brew. Now sit down and remiss of the time that you will miss.

Being A Writer Is Like?

Being a writer is like using all the tools in a tool box. You are in the CIA research and analysis, in the FBI read their body language and weird behaviour. A homicide detective: You need to read the room and pay close attention to small details.

Oh and just one more thing! Please read the quote and understand you have the right to be silent as actions can and will be used against you! I eat, sleep and dream about this shit! So try me, wise guy!

Admit defeat And Move On

Sometimes you have to do things for yourself and sometimes admit defeat and move on. I was on substack but it takes a while to get people to follow and I like people being able to read my content for free. After doing some research, I found that if you don't have a paid subscription on substack your posts don't get noticed as much. So Here I am back where I started and should have been. My content varies as I want to write about different things. A blog post about my writing, decorating and money.

I think it's because when I write on my blog I'm writing for my own enjoyment, instead of worrying about whether the content I'm writing is suitable for certain platforms. I deactivated my Bluesky. I just don't get the same enjoyment as I did on twitter. Don't know what it is but change is good.

Been writing a new police drama and I think this one is what I need to keep myself on track.

It's an easier story to write. My other ones are complex and have many different characters. I have to world build 2 of them.

Can't believe it's July! Got to start Christmas shopping and doing some stuff around the house as I might have my operation soon. I want to post what I'm doing like decorating and sorting out my planners.

So when you feel down and something isn't sitting right. Change it! Change is good for the soul. It will push our limits and make us walk a different path and that's ok.

Keep going but sometimes things just need to be dusted off and moved around for a whole new perspective.

Sara

Christmas Shouldn’’t Be A Hassle!

Yes I'm afraid it's time to tell you that Christmas will soon be upon us. So I am starting early.

The days I used to sit as a child, thinking about all the beautiful things at Christmas. Now as an adult and parent sometimes I cannot wait for it to be over! I didn't realise the planning and preparation you have to do.

I love the evening of Christmas day, when everything is done and I can sit down; watch Christmas movies, eat leftovers and relax. What could be better than that? 

Well if I really started planning early then I wouldn't be so fed up and feel like Christmas is just a hassle instead of just enjoying the holidays.

I came up with an idea that would help me, so I decided to share the wealth of being happier at Christmas.

I'm in the process of creating a checklist for the whole year as many of us I'm sure would like to spread the cost of Christmas throughout the year and not spend so much on credit cards etc.

1.Plan

It doesn't matter how you plan for Christmas as long as some ideas are written down for later reference. Make a planner for shopping and paper can be moved out easily.

Craft Tip - use old Christmas cards as dividers and laminate them. I found a red Filofax with cherries I have had for ages that I use.

2. Organization

Organisation is key at Christmas but do not leave everything until the last minute.

CHRISTMAS  IN JULY 

I was watching YouTube and saw many videos about doing your Christmas  shopping earlier in the year due to the sales in the summer.

Spread out buying Christmas presents over the year. Friends, co-workers and family in summer or fall sales. Stocking stuffers are also good to start buying early. Set a schedule to buy small gifts in the sales,  closer to chrismas medium gifts, large gifts in the summer or wait until sales start before Christmas, anything that someone might want to return buy closer to Christmas. Do not forget to buy Christmas items for the next Christmas in the sales. I buy plain paper I can use all year round and buy different ribbon and tags for each person.

If you have more than one child, you can colour code which child is who's.

Keep a planner though the year update when you hear someone say something they would like.

DECLUTTER 

Declutter in Septempter/October and see if they need anything for everyday. Socks, underwear, shoes, winter items. 

Home Tip 

If you have small children do this when their at school no tears over toys.

FOOD

I have started buying items I need in my store cupboard. When I was woth my ex we didn't  get paid until Christmas eve. Iwent to buy cloves one year and they had sold out. I did not have time to go somewhere else, so why not buy early before the rush.

Tinned items can be stored, make a Christmas Hamper for special items you want. Buy drinks, mixers in summer sales, buy wine and champagne in summer sales and store in a dark place, always handy for a hostess gift.

DECORATIONS 

I have really cut down Christmas decorations as my children are grown up. I use home decor items for a winter. I have been using a winter wonderland theme, as it ticks all the things I like about fall, winter and Christmas. 

I love hanging lights around the ceiling and use tree trunk tealight holders, use dark shades of foliage and use artificial flowers to make year round vase displays. 

Use ideas you see in magazines, Pinterest or the internet instead of buying items for Christmas. All it takes is some imagination and some know how! So let's get crafty this Christmas!

I bought small to medium stuff animals from a charity  shop of a fox, donkey, reindeer and many more, I arrange them around the tree. I start decorating in October for Halloween and use my Christmas tree as a witchy tree. I decorate with witch boots, victorian items and love the lights on the tree. Also I'm saving money on electricity I use a reading lamp so I can read. It gives a dark academia vibe to my room.

Cozy blankets, pillows that could be mixed with browns, oranges, purple, green and red. 

I like a vintage decor design with wood and gold frames. Reminds me of Charles Dickens and A Christmas Carol. I buy all these things from charity shops over the years.

PLAN AHEAD

Make a Christmas binder. So everything is in one place and you don’t lose those all-important lists. This will last you for years to come. Hopefully take some of the headache out and stress that comes with Christmas. Pack it with useful hints, tips and decorating ideas. keep a copy of your favorite printable’s in your organizer. I tried using a notebook but I couldn’t take out paper if I needed to update it. I have my handbag planner for on the go while I'm shopping this has all my do lists and things to buy while I'm out. Take a couple of pens just in case.

 

The idea for your main Christmas organizer is that it can done on the computer or written out by hand. you can keep a record of everything you spend, keep track of gifts you have bought over the year, things you will need. Then when it comes to next Christmas, you have a list of things you could buy in the January sales and it's all done.

Have a checklist of the things you have bought, check them off your list (I have a column with the heading Done, You can use any program or just paper if you want to. This is your organizer and can customize it however you wish to. 

Now what to have in your planner

A Monthly calendar would be useful in it, you can keep up with what needs to be done, a notes section and to do list is also convenient. First sort out the countdown to Christmas, how long do you have until Christmas. Next, the cost of Christmas, how much do you what to spend? Because we all do overspend at this time. Sort out what bills you have for the coming months; this is an expensive month, so everything to the penny! The food shopping this is where I overspend I buy so much “but it’s Christmas” I tell myself but I don’t need half the things I buy. The menu,” I know turkey on Christmas” but sometimes we want to have something different. What about if you have a party or family over? 

TABLE & DINING 

Do you have everything you want? Do you have enough tables, chairs, plates etc. Mix and mat h your dinner set. Maybe red & cream plates. You could buy 2 inexpensive dinner sets for Christmas. So you have enough for everyone and if something gets broken it not your favorite or family heirloom dinner set.

The present list, most of us have computers and smart phones, so we can use them to make many of our lists on our phones all in one place. But I'm a paper pen kind of girl. I only have a certain amount of information in my Filofax as I don’t need all the information I have an A4 lever arch binder. I keep everything I need to make my Christmas special.

 

I make templates for everything on the computer. I make out my lists on the computer and print out. Don't forget! To check your Christmas lights. I do every year and make sure lights are working properly. See if they are something new I want you might want to have a different theme than last year. 

GARDEN 

I want to include the garden in the decorating. We may not want to go to the length of some others but some decorations in the garden do look great. I like all one colour lights. I think I like  cream lights as it reminds me of candles.  The warm orange glow of people's homes look like fires in a fireplaces. I like traditional items like pots with red ribbon tied in a bow against the green foliage. Pots with winter plants.

GET CRAFTY

Is there anything you could make as crafts? Home made cards popular to make for people, Decorations to give to people , that the kids make. One year I didn’t have a lot of money so I made Hand prints of the kids, to give to the family and got them to make one for me. It’s something you can look back on with their little.

 

This is my countdown for Christmas to make things a bit easier and spread Christmas thru the year. When to look for bargains in the coming months, as we all know prices do rise at around Christmas tine. 

Hope you enjoyed my pist let me know your money saving ideas to share!

Sara